The Second Calling

I

Do you know

why I want to believe

in ghosts? The night

you died, the phone broke through

our wailing. I answered

a screen filled with zeros

to echoes of silence.

II

As they wheeled you away, I kissed your forehead,

the cold radiating through me like winter glass

my frostbit lips, the ache still liners,

in the following moment, the world pulled in

dark – I can see it still—like a movie iris

as my body forgot how

to breathe

III

is this only a gossamer thin wall separating us?

from feeling your embrace, hearing your laughter? the second

call, moments after the first, I answered, another screen

filled with nothing

and a phone filled with silence.

IV

our time alone, before

you were cremated, I begged

your forgiveness. I had failed. I regret

less what I did than what I did not. please,

please understand. I always tried

to do what was best for you. and a last

kiss goodbye.

V

I know now, what happened when the world grew hazy,

why I lost my breath, I felt

my soul disintegrating, like sparks

from a house burning in the night

as the wall, even if gossamer thin,

closed you in another room, where you call out

in silence

                until my ears

                                know how to hear