The Second Calling
I
Do you know
why I want to believe
in ghosts? The night
you died, the phone broke through
our wailing. I answered
a screen filled with zeros
to echoes of silence.
II
As they wheeled you away, I kissed your forehead,
the cold radiating through me like winter glass
my frostbit lips, the ache still liners,
in the following moment, the world pulled in
dark – I can see it still—like a movie iris
as my body forgot how
to breathe
III
is this only a gossamer thin wall separating us?
from feeling your embrace, hearing your laughter? the second
call, moments after the first, I answered, another screen
filled with nothing
and a phone filled with silence.
IV
our time alone, before
you were cremated, I begged
your forgiveness. I had failed. I regret
less what I did than what I did not. please,
please understand. I always tried
to do what was best for you. and a last
kiss goodbye.
V
I know now, what happened when the world grew hazy,
why I lost my breath, I felt
my soul disintegrating, like sparks
from a house burning in the night
as the wall, even if gossamer thin,
closed you in another room, where you call out
in silence
until my ears
know how to hear
